Holding the Ladder....

The young lover, eloping with his beloved, climbed up the ladder and knocked on her window pane. She opened the window softly.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Ssssh! Not so loud," she whispered, "I'm so afraid Father will catch us."

"That's all right", said the boy. "He's down below holding the ladder."

===========oooooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo=============

Dark Ages

Guess Who....

A young man sneaked up behind a young lady, covered her eyes with his hands and announced:

"I'm going to kiss you if you can't tell who's this in three guesses."

"Benjamin Franklin, George Bush, Bill Clinton, Tony Blair, Michael Jordan!!!", she guessed.

==========oooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooooo=================

Wasn't that you?

"Sweetheart, if I'd known that the tunnel was was so long, I'd have given you a kiss."

"My goodness! Wasn't that you?"

======oooooOOOOOooooo======

Marriages are in heaven

"They told me that your old maid aunt died happily."

"Yes, somebody told her that marriages are made in heaven."

====oooOOOOooo=====

Yes Darling.....

"Do you mean to tell you always have the last words in any argument with your wife?"

"Of course! It's Yes, Darling."

===ooOOOoo===

Statesman and politician

What’s the Difference between a politician and a statesman?

10-year-old kid: one’s running for the office and the other is running from it.

11-year-old kid: Politician is always criticizing and a statesman is always
criticized.

12-year-old kid: A statesman makes money and the politician spends it.

Shakespeare

Mother: Junior! Don’t ever use bad words again
Junior: But mother, Shakespeare uses them
Mother: Well, don’t play with him anymore then

Marry me.....

Worm in an apple

Misc 7...

What does a fairy if she becomes a movie director?
Ans: She would make movie magic

What does a fairy's fairy teacher use to correct test papers?
Ans: The magic marker

What does a wand to at a football game?
Ans: The wave

Misc 6...

How do fairies improve their satellite connection?
Ans: With a satellite wish.

Why would a fairy want to work in Wall Street?
Ans: So that he could trade stocks and wands

What do fairies like about New York?
Ans: The Staten Island Fairy

Misc 5...

What do all fairy movies have?
Ans: A zappy ending

Why couldn't a lawyer win any case in Fairy Court?
Ans: Because he didn't have any poof.

When a fairy turns in to a dog, what does he wag?
Ans: His fairy tail.

Misc 4...

What do fairies catch a lot of when they play baseball?
Ans: Fly balls.

What is a fairy's amusement park ride?
Ans: The fairy-go-round

Who grants wishes to young fishermen?
Ans: Fairy CodParents

Misc 3...

What is a fairy's amusement park ride?
Ans: The fairy-go-round

Why would fairies make good balloons?
Ans: Because there's air in every fairy.

What state has the most fairies?
Ans: Wish-consin

Misc 2...

What do you call a fairy godmother on Halloween?
Ans: A scary Godmother

How do fairies call one another?
Ans: They use 'Spell' phones

What does a fairy wear when they get married?
Ans: A wedding wing.

Misc 1...

What's the best thing about being a fairy?
Ans: Frequent Flyer Miles

What do you call someone who can turn herself into a werewolf with the wave of her wand?
Ans: A hairy godmother

What do you call someone who grants wishes and goes "Moo, moo"?
Ans: A dairy godmother

For all

Priest - I pray for all Lawyer - I plead for all Doctor - I prescribe for all Plain Citizen - I PAY for all

Shaving...

Woman - "How many times a day do you shave?" Man - "Oh! Forty or fifty times." Woman - "What???, Are you crazy?" Man - "No! I'm a barber"

Door Knob

Girl1 - "He has a head like a door knob." Girl2 - "(Gasping), OH heally???? What made you say so?" Girl1 - Any girl can turn it."

with Pleasure

Customer - Waiter, bring me a hamburger. Waiter - With pleasure sir! Customer - Nope, with mustard.

Ideal OnCe....

"Yes, I had an ideal once, " the young matron confided. "What happened to him?" asked her friend. "Oh, I married him."

Corn Talk

Baby Corn - Where did I come from Mama? Mama Corn - Hush, darling, the stalk brought you :-)

An Oldmaid

An oldmaid shocked at the language of some ditch-diggers working near her home, complained to their foreman. The foreman promised to inquire into the matter, and called one of the men over. "What's all this about bad language?" he asked. "Why boss?" replied the man, "it's nothing at all. My hammer slipped and hit butch on the head, and he told me, 'Now Joe, in the future please be careful how you hold the hammer,"

He & She

He: If you'll give me your phone number, I'll call you up sometime.
She: It's in the directory.
He: Fine! What's your name?
She: It's in the directory too...